Opt Into Doing Your Best (replay)

Kelley gets personal about what it’s like when doing your best doesn’t look the way it used to. As the year winds down, she’s feeling energized by her goals and tired at the same time, and she’s learning that the soft lock-in is an ongoing practice, not a one-time declaration.

She unpacks where Black women’s relentless standards of excellence come from, how to spot your own “too much” signals, and what it looks like to redefine your best as aligned instead of perfect. Key Takeaways Doing your best doesn’t have to mean grinding.

The soft lock-in is a practice you choose every day, not something you declare once and get perfect at. Much of what Black women learn as ambition is really conditioning.

When excellence becomes the baseline, perfectionism leads to burnout, imbalance, and invisibility, because people stop seeing what it costs you. Learn your “too much” signals, physical, emotional, and behavioral, like exhaustion, doom scrolling, neck tension, quick anger, and skipping your routines.

Once you know them, you can pause sooner. Your best can mean aligned instead of perfect.

Good enough is your best, and your best is good enough. Rest is its own form of leadership.

Episode Highlights & Timestamps 05:00 Where the pressure comes from: immigrant families, first-generation expectations, and the need to represent 07:00 How perfectionism leads to burnout, invisibility, and imbalance 12:00 Know your signals: how to tell when you’re doing too much 17:00 Redefining best as aligned: delegating, cushioning your routines, and choosing presence over productivity Gentle Invitation This week, ask yourself: where do I need to soften my expectations of myself? Write down your own “too much” signals, the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs that you’ve passed your capacity.

Make the implicit explicit, and when you spot one, hit pause. Then redefine your best into something that honors your rhythms.

Let me know how you’re doing it, Kelley wants to hear. Support the Show If you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout .

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