Margaret Cho on Choosing to Matter

Kamau chats with comedy legend Margaret Cho about her evolution from prodigy stand-up to comedy elder, activist, and craft‑obsessed lifer. They bond over their shared San Francisco roots and how he sees her as a “comedy mother.” Cho embraces that role, saying she loves taking ownership when younger comics build on what she did and “make it better.” They dig into her landmark solo show I’m the One That I Want, which kicked open the door for comics to be vulnerable and “give a damn” onstage.

Cho contrasts traditional self‑deprecation with a philosophy of self‑affirmation, arguing that comics can “choose yourself,” insist “I matter,” and avoid self‑deprecation that, for comics of color, can reestablish white supremacy in front of mostly white audiences. Asked for her “state of the comedy universe,” she critiques the Kevin Hart roast as disheartening, praising Cheryl Underwood while condemning the racist jokes about lynching, George Floyd, and Underwood’s husband’s suicide, as ugly and unimaginative.

This leads into a broader discussion of how comedy has drifted from speaking truth to power and punching up toward being “cozy with power,” with some comics mistaking racist or “forbidden word” jokes for genuine edginess. Cho’s decades‑long LGBTQ advocacy runs through the episode.

The host notes she identified as queer early and helped define the universe of what comedy could be, especially in San Francisco’s queer scene. She warns that comics “testing” boundaries around trans people without understanding the stakes contributes to real‑world harm: “when you take trans lives lightly… trans people die.” She calls current conditions “really sad” and “scary,” citing bathroom and identity laws, driver’s license issues, and the re‑legalization of conversion therapy, and says “we’re in the middle of a transgenocide” that demands action to keep trans people safe and restore equality.

The episode also touches on grief and community as Cho and the host remember their friend, brilliant but troubled comic Jim Short, reflecting on his neurodivergence, volatility, and genius, and wishing more people would discover his work. Support Friendly House, which provides assistance for low‑income women dealing with addiction, at .

Who's With Me is produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Chris Dowd.

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