Session 479: The Work of Being A Girl Dad with Kier Gaines

Most of Kier Gaines’ therapy clients are women, many of whom are working through difficult relationships with their fathers. This week, Kier and Dr.

Joy discuss what a father wound can look like, how it affects daughters in adulthood, and why receiving an apology may not resolve years of hurt. He also shares what he had to learn while raising daughters, from ordering underwear online to recognizing the parts of girlhood he could not anticipate.

He and Dr. Joy discuss where attachment research falls short for Black families, how people respond to him as a big, dark-skinned Black man doing tender work in public, and why he is careful when people describe his content as “healing.” Kier’s new book, It All Starts When You Do, is out now.

He shares why waiting can become a habit and what it takes to begin before you feel ready. Resources & Announcements Want to reflect on this conversation in community?

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