Stop Abandoning Yourself: Boundaries, Self-Trust & the Courage to Change

You can be accomplished, self-aware, and successful—and still be abandoning yourself in ways you don’t recognize. For boundaries coach Barb Nangle, that realization didn’t come until age 52.

Despite years of therapy, self-help, and personal development, it was 12-step recovery that finally helped her recognize patterns of codependency, people-pleasing, overgiving, and putting everyone else’s needs ahead of her own. In this candid conversation with Dr. mOe Anderson, Barb explains why changing at midlife and beyond isn’t just possible—it can completely transform the way we relate to ourselves and others.

They explore internal safety, emotional availability, self-abandonment, and why someone else being disappointed with you doesn’t automatically mean you’ve done something wrong. Barb also offers a powerful distinction between the familiar discomfort of dysfunctional patterns and the temporary discomfort that comes with growth.

The goal isn’t to never feel uncomfortable. It’s to stop treating discomfort like danger.

And boundaries aren’t necessarily walls. Used well, they can create more honesty, trust, intimacy, and connection—even in relationships that have operated the same way for decades.

Memorable Quotes “Discomfort does not mean danger.” — Barb Nangle “Life is made up of the mundane.” — Barb Nangle Key Takeaways Growth has no expiration date. Barb began her major transformation at 52 and continues evolving in her 60s.

Internal safety is built from within. Someone else’s anger, disappointment, or disapproval doesn’t have to become an emergency for you.

People-pleasing can become self-abandonment. Constantly prioritizing everyone else may leave little room for your own needs, preferences, and feelings.

The discomfort of growth is temporary. New boundaries can feel wrong simply because they’re unfamiliar—not because they actually are wrong.

Healthy boundaries can strengthen relationships. Clearly communicating what works for you can create greater honesty and connection.

Emotional availability starts with yourself. Learning to recognize and honor your own emotions changes what you bring into relationships and what you’re willing to accept.

Connect with Barb Nangle Website: Free Internal Safety Resource Pack: Barb created this resource specifically to help people better understand and begin developing internal safety. If this episode made you recognize a pattern you’re ready to change, subscribe to Perpetual mOetion, share the episode, and leave a review.

Change your words. Change your world.

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