Coffee No Cream Ep. 65 - Why Some Black Men Reject Black Women: Narcissism, Race and Dating

In this episode of Coffee No Cream, Erin Braxton sits down with psychologist Dr. Natalie Jones for a provocative conversation about narcissism, dating, race, relationships and some of the warning signs Black women may be overlooking.

What does narcissism actually mean, and how is it different from the way we casually use the word? Dr.

Jones breaks down narcissistic traits and explains how she believes race, status and proximity to whiteness can become intertwined with narcissistic behavior. That leads to one of the biggest questions of the episode: when a Black man specifically rejects Black women while placing women of other races on a pedestal, could narcissism be part of what’s going on?

The conversation goes much further. Dr.

Jones shares what her work in corrections, forensic psychology and domestic violence has taught her about manipulative behavior, red flags in dating, pathological lying, control, verbal abuse and the moments when unhealthy relationships can become dangerous. Erin and Dr.

Jones also talk about why Black women may sometimes stay too long, the pressure to “build a man up,” the idea that there is a scarcity of Black men, and whether Black women have been given enough examples of what it actually looks like to be loved well. This conversation includes strong opinions and some uncomfortable subjects, but the message for Black women is simple: pay attention to what you see, stop explaining away behavior that concerns you, and go where you are loved, celebrated, and appreciated.

CONTENT NOTE: This episode includes discussion of domestic violence, sexual offending, pornography, and abusive relationships. Dr.

Natalie Jones, PsyD Website TikTok Instagram ☕ Join the Coffee No Cream Community We talk about career, confidence, workplace trauma, healing, and navigating life as Black women, without apology. ► ⁠⁠⁠Join the private Facebook group ⁠⁠⁠ ► ⁠⁠⁠Access 2,000+ free educational resources ⁠⁠⁠ ► ⁠⁠⁠Book a Motion Hour with Erin⁠⁠⁠ to figure out your next step ⏰ TIMESTAMPS (00:00) Preview (01:02) Welcome to Coffee No Cream (03:09) Meet Dr. Natalie Jones (05:18) What Does “Narcissist” Actually Mean? (08:17) Narcissism, Race and Proximity to Whiteness (11:22) What Dr.

Jones Heard From Black Men in Prison (15:00) Race, Identity and All-White Friend Groups (19:02) If He Doesn’t Want Black Women, Is It Narcissism? (23:01) Is It Attraction or the Status Associated With Whiteness (26:56) Dating Red Flags Black Women Should Watch For (27:41) “If You Feel Sorry for Him, It’s Time to Go” (29:13) Pay Attention to His Relationship With His Mother (31:50) Why Dr. Jones Considers Red-Pill Content a Warning Sign (34:22) Are Black Women Too Forgiving When Choosing Black Men? (37:19) When Narcissistic Behavior Becomes Dangerous (38:53) Why Verbal Abuse Is a Serious Warning Sign (39:17) Losing Control, Leaving and Pregnancy (40:46) Weapons, Threats and Escalating Behavior (43:10) Pathological Lying and Living a Double Life (47:42) Does the Perceived Scarcity of Black Men Make Us Accept More? (48:21) “Go Where You Are Loved” (50:21) Do Black Women Have Enough Examples of Healthy Love? (51:00) Tyler Perry and Representations of Black Women (54:33) Letting Go of “Build a Man Up” and “Ride or Die” (55:46) Reality Dating Shows and Black Women (57:19) Where to Find Dr.

Natalie Jones (58:00) The “Blue Magic” Story We Didn’t Get To (58:35) Closing